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I know it’s a bit of a wank, but ‘Caught yellow handed’, an excerpt from I SPIDER was my most popular blog of 2012. It’s a bit naughty, M.


That night we went to bed and she

started to sniff the air.

“Somebody’s been using fake tan,” she

said.

“Can’t you smell it?”

“I can smell fake tan.”

Like a bloodhound she sniffed the air all

the way to my hands.

They were a darker orange than ever.

I’d had four showers since the wank, and

scrubbed my palms with industrial

strength hand cleaner.

I’m sure that the moisturiser tube didn’t

say anything about fake tan.

It used words like giving your skin a

healthy glow.

My girlfriend was mortified.

She slept that night in the spare bedroom,

and the next day she was gone.

But it took way longer for my palms and

knob to return to their normal colour.

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About ispiderbook

Anthony is a first time novelist who is based in Sydney Australia.

2 responses to “I know it’s a bit of a wank, but ‘Caught yellow handed’, an excerpt from I SPIDER was my most popular blog of 2012. It’s a bit naughty, M.

  1. Y’know, if I didn’t know “I Spider” is a work of fiction…

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